Double Date: Brothers & Sisters
by SirPrickles
Summary: Second in "Double Date" series. Munkustrap/Demeter and Rum Tum Tugger/Bombalurina - The siblings all try to get along, but Demeter and The Rum Tum Tugger don't try very hard. Oneshot.


"Please," Bombalurina begged. "Please. Pretty, pretty, pretty, please. Please."

"I said alright, Bomba," Demeter sighed. And already she was regretting that little decision.

"I know. But pretty please. Try to see his good side."

Demeter was about to retort that he didn't have a good side, but figured that would put a bad start on the evening. She shrugged noncommittally.

How did she get roped into a double date with the Rum Tum Tugger? With that annoying, lewd, insensitive, brainless, insulting, pig-headed tomcat? Wasn't it enough that her sister was with him? Did they really have to add insult to injury?

Munkustrap and Bombalurina had set it up. They argued (quite convincingly) that they were all family now, double in-laws, and some sort of happy medium needed to be attained. Demeter pointed out that her "happy medium" was trying to pretend Tugger didn't exist, and did not in any way live in the same den as her beloved sister. And did not touch or eyeball her sister on a regular basis.

She was getting upset just thinking about it.

Munkustrap popped his head in their den. "Dem! Perfect. You look beautiful. All ready to go, then?" He switched his gaze to Bombalurina, who nodded, trying to be upbeat and positive.

Demeter sighed.

Bombalurina walked in front of her out of the den, mercifully blocking her view of the Maine Coon waiting out by the gate. Bomba drew level with him then whirled around. "Everyone accounted for!" she crooned. "All ready to go."

Munkustrap beamed and put his paw on Demeter's shoulder. "Ready for a good time?"

"Yes." _But not expecting one. _Demeter passed the tallest tom in the junkyard without a glance, but was still horribly aware of his presence. However, Munk and Bomba sandwiched her in, so she was as shielded as she could be.

Sometimes she did wonder if she was being too harsh on him. She didn't doubt that he cared about her sister, his mate; or his brother, her mate. He was even rather cute with his younger half-brother, Mistoffelees, if you thought love-hate was cute.

But just when she started thinking Tugger might be alright he would say or do something so egregious and vile that she gave up.

Egregiously, and vilely, it usually involved her sister.

Maybe she was a bit overprotective. Demeter kept her eyes on the steps she was taking, in the corner of her eye seeing Bomba's longer strides.

Bomba had taken care of her before they were Jellicles. Bomba was fiercely loyal, loving, and brave. And Demeter felt very much the same, now that they were Jellicles and mostly safe from the world. She owed so much to Bomba, who had nurtured her through a bad relationship and encouraged her with Munkustrap, who proved to be her true love and lifesaver.

Bomba deserved someone who loved her unconditionally. Who worshiped her for both her beauty and brains. Whose main goal was to make her happy.

Tugger's most emphatically was not.

His main goal was standing in a way that was instantly careless and seductive. In drawing out his syllables and emphasizing certain words that made queens blush. In flirting shamelessly and breaking all female hearts, her sister's included.

Demeter stumbled. Munk caught her right away. "Careful, Dem," he said, his voice a loving caress.

How different he was from his irresponsible younger brother. Sometimes Demeter thought that Bomba and Munk deserved each other. But they both loved her too much to do anything about it.

And she really had no intention of giving up the best thing that ever happened to her. She smiled lovingly at Munk. He was watching the path ahead of them, ever-vigilant, the way a leader and protector should be.

But Tugger had keener senses. "Is that—" he looked over Bomba and Demeter's heads at Munk. Munk sniffed the air.

"Maybe—I can't tell yet…"

"No," Tugger announced. "It's just an alley-cat." He pointed. Sure enough, blinking green eyes materialized and just as quickly disappeared.

Bomba shivered. Demeter reached to hold her, but bumped into Tugger, who was going for the same thing. He glanced down at her, in a rather challenging way.

Demeter dropped her paws. _Fine. This time_.

"Here!" Bomba announced excitedly, dashing into a little alleyway. This left Demeter and Tugger standing next to each other. She scooted. He just looked at her as though she was an oddly-colored bird and looked away.

They all moved forward to where Bomba was waving. "It's like a picnic," she said, gesturing to the blanket spread out.

"Don't picnics do better in grass?" Tugger asked. Demeter was forced to agree.

"Oh, sit down. It's fine. Here," she said, scooting to make a space for the large tom. Demeter calculated quickly. She slipped to the other side of Munk and sat down across from Bomba, as far as she could from Tugger.

She noticed Bomba was doing the very opposite by settling up against him, almost purring happily. Demeter sighed. He did make her sister very happy.

Also, very sad. Demeter blinked, her vision turning inward. That was the way it was with volatile, passionate relationships. The good was very good. And the bad…well, it was bad. But all of it drama.

"I think your queen's phased out, bro," Tugger said, watching Demeter.

Munk rubbed her shoulder affectionately. "She's fine. Fish paste, anyone?"

Uncomfortable silence again. Demeter felt like it was her fault. Why couldn't they just get along? Why? Was she being unreasonable?

Bomba passed her a plate, her eyes worried. She felt the tension too.

"So—Munk. How's patrolling? Any sign of Macavity?"

Munk chimed in, "No. No. We're still on the lookout."

"Luckily you have a built-in Macavity sensor." Tugger. "She and Mac must've had something freaky going on, because she certainly goes off anytime he's around."

Munk glared at his brother. Bomba elbowed her mate.

_And that_, Demeter thought, _is why we don't get along_.

"What?" Tugger said. "It's a joke. Honestly. Can't any of you take a joke anymore? I swear…"

He glanced at Demeter like it was all her fault. Bomba said, with false cheeriness, "It's so nice that Etcy and Plato have settled down. I think they'll be good for each other."

Munk laughed. "Who would have thought they steady each other? Plato's already shaping up to be very useful on the patrol."

"It's a shame he'll never measure up," Tugger said smugly. Demeter's eyes widened. _Really? This? Again_?

Munk glared at his brother. Bomba elbowed her mate.

"You are all so uptight," he complained. Again he looked at Demeter.

More awkward silence.

Bomba was clearly running out of ideas, and Munk was running out of patience.

"How about we play Truth or Dare?" Demeter said carefully. "It's a human game."

"They play it at slumber parties," Tugger nodded. "My human loves it. Sixteen-year-old girl, meet unspoken secrets. Classic." Demeter didn't know if he was mocking her idea or not, but went ahead anyway.

"So, Bomba: truth, or dare?"

"Dare," Bomba said, immediately. Demeter wasn't surprised. "I dare you to switch places with Munk." Tugger looked irritated at this, but Bomba and Munk happily swapped.

"Tugger," Bomba said, "truth or dare?"

"Dare," he said, leaning closer to her. She smiled. "Give Demeter a—"she paused—"handshake."

Tugger raised both eyebrows but held out leopard-spotted paw. Demeter took it. They shook twice, then let go.

"Munk," said Tugger, "you know the drill."

"Truth,"

"Of course," Tugger sneered. "Tell me, how often do you catch Alonzo using patrol to pursue unprofessional things?"

Munk reddened. "Really! I have nothing to say."

Tugger tilted his head. "Eh, at least twice, by that response. I'm satisfied. Go on."

Munk to Demeter. "Truth or dare?"

"—Dare." Of course she had been about to say "truth". But she had to try harder to connect with the obnoxious brother-in-law.

Munk smiled secretly. "Trade places with Bomba."

Now she was right across from Tugger. Facing him.

"Bomba," she said, "truth or dare?"

"Oh, let's go with truth on this one," she beamed.

"Alright. Why Tugger?" She held his gaze while asking. It was unmistakably cool.

Bomba smiled slyly. "His dancing, of course."

"Great Heavyside," Demeter muttered aloud.

Bomba broke in: "Tugger: truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Give Demeter a-" she paused again. "Kiss."

Demeter's eyes widened. This was not happening.

Tugger didn't move. His smirk was firmly planted. "I don't think so."

Demeter's eyebrows raised. That was a change. Usually he was all too eager to make her uncomfortable. She gazed at him in silent contemplation.

He answered her gaze. "Sorry," he turned to Munk, "but your queen is just too uncomfortable with _sexuality_."

Bomba bit her lip. Demeter said icily, "Excuse me?"

Tugger continued to address his brother, ignoring Demeter. "Must be hard for you, being with a queen who's so frigid."

The gold queen's ears felt like they were on fire. "There is nothing wrong with my-_sexuality_," she said aloud, shocking them all into silence. "In fact, Munk and I do it nearly every night, after his patrol. Sometimes on his patrol. And I find it _extremely_ satisfying."

There was another pause; longer and much more awkward than before. Munkustrap seemed frozen in shock. Bomba stared wildly at her sister's boldness.

"Really," Tugger sneered, leaning forward. "I find that hard to believe."

"You shouldn't," Demeter said. "Just because I don't find you attractive..."

"Don't you?" His blazing green eyes were just inches from her own.

"Yeah," she whispered, and attacked his lips.

Bombalurina squeaked in surprise. She cast a wild look at Munkustrap, as if to say, "This wasn't in the plan."

Munkustrap nodded dumbly, his jaw hanging slack as he watched his mate and his brother exchange furious kisses. He coughed experimentally.

Bomba poked Tugger in the side.

Finally, after several long, very uncomfortable seconds, the two cats broke apart. Demeter hissed. Tugger snarled.

Another silence reigned.

Munkustrap, ever the gentleman, said: "Well, then-do you two feel-uh-better?"

Bomba forced a laugh. "Yeah, do you?"

Her sister vigorously rubbed the taste off her lips. "This confirms it," she said to Bomba, almost apologetically, standing up. "I can't stand him! Never make me do this again!"

Bomba nodded up at her meekly. She held up a paw. "I promise."

Demeter shook herself out while muttering, "I tried. I really tried. Not my fault. It's him. _It's_ _him_. Gaaahhhh..." and she continued rubbing her mouth.

"Munkustrap!" Munk jumped at the tone in his mate's voice.

"Yes, Dem?"

She reached down and grabbed his paw. "We need to go. I have to erase this experience-_right now_."

Munk blinked a few times, but moved with alacrity.

"Goodnight, Bomba," he said, sharing a sympathetic look with her. Demeter tugged at him impatiently, and they scampered away, blending into the dark of the alley.

Bomba took a deep breath and turned to look at the tomcat next to her. He looked peeved but undeniably shell-shocked.

"Tugger," Bomba said, sounding anxious. He turned his frazzled mane to look at her.

She twiddled her thumbs. There was another awkward pause, then, "Is my sister a better kisser?" came out.

He sighed. "I'll be honest-she's not bad. Not bad at all."

Bomba nodded meekly.

He added, carelessly: "I hope you're not threatened."

"Not-much," she said. Tugger took her paw. Bomba looked at it, and looked down at the ground, and shrugged. "Personally, I think it had to happen sooner or later."

Tugger scowled. "What an idea-wait. Wait just a minute! You were the one who _told_ me to kiss her! Was this..._planned_?"

Bomba kept staring at the ground, but nibbled on her full lower lip. She nodded slightly.

Tugger stood up. He looked rather offended. "Let me just say, Red, _that I do not like your sister._ At all. Even a little bit. You," he reached down and pulled her up and into his arms, "are the one I want."

Bomba nuzzled his maned chest. Her claws dug in. "Is that right?"

"No," he drawled, running his paw down her back, "I just lie for the hell of it. Seriously, Bombs. You're more than enough..." his paw reached the area around her tail and gave a squeeze.

She jerked as if electrocuted, and pulled away. "Ah. Well," she said, looking at the sky innocently, "perhaps we should erase the experience, as well. If you want to."

Tugger's grin became predatory. Bomba forced herself to act nonchalant. She blinked at the shadowed brick wall of the alleyway. A devilish smile was creeping over her face.

It was nice to know that her mate preferred her.

She had to be sure. Bombalurina knew that the Rum Tum Tugger needed a taste of everything just to decide if he liked it. Even if he pretended not to want it.

Like her lovely sister Demeter.

Bomba forced the smile away and sighed as Tugger pressed against her back. She whispered, "So this ended up as a good date, then?"

"As a single, not a double," he grinned, "and I'm sure Munk and Demeter agree."

Bomba thought about what her sister and the strong, dependable, and handsome Jellicle protector were doing at the moment. There was a satisfied smile in her voice when she replied in a low purr, "Oh yes. Yes, indeed."


End file.
